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Joke of the Day

"I treat women well cause I'm a real man. Also, if I'm nice to them maybe they'll come over and kill this spider for me"

"How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one."

"Whenever I reach 88 mph in my car, I always make a Back to the Future time traveling sound effect inside my head... ...and that's usually followed by a police siren sound effect outside my car."

"Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs!"

"who wore it better: Russell Brand or Steven Tyler's microphone stand"

"""That which does not kill you makes you stronger."" So, all things?"

"What if the Daleks start eating an apple a day"

"I tucked my kids in last night and said, ""See you in the morning!"" and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise."

"Have you ever heard someone honking so aggressively & for so long that you're like ""this was never about the traffic, was it, buddy?"""

"[Dirty] What is the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry escaped the chamber."