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Joke of the Day

"I tucked my kids in last night and said, ""See you in the morning!"" and then we laughed and laughed. Saw them 16 more times before sunrise."

"Disappointment usually stems from expecting too much from strangers on Facebook."

"Butt dialing and booty calling So similar. So different"

"Why shouldn't you wear Ukrainian underwear? Chernobyl fall out"

"need a last minute valentine's day gift for that special lady? why not give her the timeless gift of my phone number"

"What do you find up a clean nose? Finger-prints."

"I took my turtle for a walk. It's been six months and we are finally at the end of my driveway."

"What is the difference between a small vagina and a douchey midget? One is a runty cunt and the other is a cunty runt."

"What's Hitler's least favorite planet? Jewpiter"

"Did you hear about that new broom? It's sweeping the nation!"