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Joke of the Day

"If my Sky Internet gets any slower by the time this video has downloaded the girl in it will be legal."

"TIL people STILL tell Chuck Norris Jokes! And that when Alexander Bell first invented the phone, he found 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris."

"What you called a fat Chinese man? Chunk"

"Pupil (on phone) : My son has a bad cold and won't be able to come to school today. School Secretary: Who is this? Pupil: This is my father speaking!"

"A gay deer eats what ? HEY HEY!!!!"

"I finally started writing the book on herbs I've been putting off for so long, I guess it's.. :looks directly at the camera: ""About thyme"""

"War vets with prosthetic limbs are running marathons and I'm busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord."

"When someone uses an elipsis at the end of a text message I assume they fell off a cliff."

"How many rioters does it take to change a lightbulb? Don't be stupid, rioters can't change anything."

"my Doctor told me i have to stop masturbating... ...because he cant concentrate i heard this a few years ago its probably been posted before but its pretty funny so enjoy :)"