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Joke of the Day

"My ass is a woman tonight It won't shut the fuck up."

"Did you hear about the guy who got his left side cut? He's all right now!"

"Q. What do tired line dancers do? A. They Line Down :-)"

"I can turn wine into a one night stand. Your move Jesus."

"What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino"

"Weighed myself. Did elliptical for 30 minutes. Weighed myself. Half a pound heavier. Never exercising again."

"KNOCK KNOCK ""I am already owning one."""

"To the man in the wheelchair at Walmart. You may have stole my camouflage jacket. But just remember, you can hide but you cannot run!"

"Send a text to your SO exactly this in commas ""You effect me"" (read comments after you have done so 1st) SO: Don't you mean ""affect?"" You: Yeah i forgot the A-Hole. Sincerely, JM"

"The average American male... has a 5"" penis but says it's 7"". Anyways, close enough....or a perfect 5/7 story?"