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Joke of the Day

"I slapped a girl in the face at the bar last night ... She told me her name!! Edit: I made up this while waiting for GoT. Please don't get mad. ^I'm ^^pathic ^^^and ^^^^awkward."

"There's a little girl's voice that sings lullabies in my guest room closet but don't mind her; she died years ago. Here's your blanket."

"Losing a husband can be hard: in my case it was almost impossible."

"Have you seen www.square.com? No I haven't got around to it."

"Obama: ""I have no more campaigns to run...because I won both of them"" Biden like 2 years later: LOL OH I GET IT. HES BEEN PRESIDENT FOR TW"

"Where do you hide after killing a black person? Behind a badge"

"My girlfriend and i are quite similar They're both imaginary"

"Do you want to hear a joke about suicide? So there was this girl."

"David Cameron walks into a sandwich shop with a pig... The shopkeeper says ""alright dave, pulled pork ?"" ""No mate, she's just a friend."""

"What else happens when Donald Trump takes Viagra? His hands get bigger."