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Joke of the Day
"Do you want to hear a joke about suicide? So there was this girl."
Next Joke
"Women call me ugly until they hear how much money I make. Then they call me ugly *and* poor."
"What's the difference between dark matter and Black Lives Matter? Dark matter has the capacity to leave an impact on a system"
"when i'm stressed i close my eyes and imagine i'm on a beach, neurotically pacing back & forth within a very small section of that beach"
"I'm going to a notable restaurant tonight. I'm excited, but I don't know where I'll put my plate."
"Yeah yeah ""Friends with Benefits"" are cool but have you tried ""Friends with Batteries""? Less drama!"
"Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees...... Celsius."
"Dude yelled ""Fight me like a man"" at me, so I held him down and marginalized him for a thousand years."
"Superman biggest weakness is not kryptonite. It's horses."
"All I'm saying is when I'm drunk in the backyard I still put my shirt on just like everyone else, one leg at a time..."