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Joke of the Day

"There's a little girl's voice that sings lullabies in my guest room closet but don't mind her; she died years ago. Here's your blanket."

Next Joke
 
"Me and my girlfriend... Me and my girlfriend watched 6 DVDs back to back last night, fortunately I was the one facing the TV!"
"Don't you hate when someone has a great tweet idea, but they TOTALLY fuck up the wording, and it's you?"
"Yesterday I met my ex-girlfriend's son and told him about how I once auditioned to be his father."
"What did one saggy boob say to the other? If we don't get support soon, people will think we are nuts."
"I was talking to a religous friend when I remembered that Moses drank lots of tea ""Oh really, how does he make it?"" ""Hebrews it."""
"Money talks But all mine ever says is good-bye."
"Whats up? My dick."
"I used to live on the 13th floor but have just moved up to the 14th floor But that's another storey."
"If you read enough tweets you can tell the approximate time the tweeter switched from coffee to alcohol"