25213

Joke of the Day

"Our son eats 3 bowls of generic fruity pebbles every morning then pukes on the bus."

"Did you hear about the snail who used to be shipped around the world in wooden crates? He was ex-cargo."

"Today I saw a girl wearing camouflage pants. They didn't show her ass very well."

"I didn't know you could get paid for donating sperm. When I think of all the money I've let slip through my fingers..."

"I discovered I have a fetish for figuring things out. (X-post /r/puns) I came to the realization."

"That awkward moment when you die, and all you were trying to do was take a selfie with a lion on a jungle safari.."

"I am addicted. I bought the iPhone, iPad & iTouch & now iBroke, iHomeless & iRegret."

"The cow got very nervous when it saw beef As cow's career was at steak"

"I heard Donald Trump has read a lot of different books.. ..Apparently for the most part he never made it past Chapter 11."

"*calls boss* Me: I can't come to work. Boss: Why not? Me: Gotham city needs me. Boss: ...You're not Batman. Me: Oh, yes, yes, exaaaactly."