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Joke of the Day

"Did you guys here the Twins signed Adrian Peterson? Word is they needed a switch hitter..."

"A chain lock on a door is just there to annoy the person who is breaking in to kill you, right?"

"I was arrested for stealing shoes... I just wanted to pay less at Payless!"

"What do you call a musical wreath made from $100 bills? Aretha Franklins"

"Dentist: ""You need a crown."" Patient: ""Finally someone who understands me"""

"Relationship goals: A relationship"

"Why are Communists bad Java programmers? They don't like classes."

"""Beatles or Stones?"" I asked my son. ""Why can't we have something normal for dinner?"" He said"

"[park bench with girlfriend] so you're dumping me because you don't think I'm smart? ""yes brent"" *starts raining* great and now sky water"

"What do you do when you come across an elephant? Wipe it off and apologize."