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Joke of the Day
"""Beatles or Stones?"" I asked my son. ""Why can't we have something normal for dinner?"" He said"
Next Joke
"If you're not fully satisfied with your life, do something about it. Or complain about it on the internet. Whatever."
"Pity Teacher writes down the word 'pity' on the blackboard. Suddenly, I think to myself ""Oh, it's what comes after forty-nine..."""
"A Unit of Power Walks Into A Bar Watt?"
"Porn has lied to me. The repairman doesn't show up instantly after I call."
"I wonder if tap dancers.... Look at a floor and think ""I'd tap that"""
"I have a bumper sticker that says ""Honk if you think I'm sexy!"" Then I just sit at green lights until I feel better about myself!"
"Relationship status: outside my wife's window, holding John Cusack over my head."
"A black man, a Muslim, and a Communist walk into a bar... The bartender says, ""Hello, Mr. President!"" Courtesy of my Fox News-watching mom..."
"What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven!"