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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? You don't milk a cow for 10 years"

"Apparently, the sonogram machine is to see unborn babies in the womb I thought it was for making you age 10 years. Instantly"

"Florida mom delivers 14-pound baby after surprise pregnancy . Florida?? NO PART of this story surprises me."

"What did the String Theorist say when his wife caught him in bed with another woman? Wait, I can explain everything!"

"""I'm Sorry"" And ""My Bad"" Mean The Same Thing. Unless You're At A Funeral."

"Really, every section of the greeting card aisle could be called ""Societal Obligation."""

"My Girlfriend told me that if I bought her any more stupid gifts, she would burn it! So I bought her a candle!"

"There's three types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't. Which one are you??"

"Why should you not trust atoms? They make up everything."

"*takes cat from pocket of doctor's coat & holds it over patient* He has finished his scan. He says he doesn't like you & you have cancer."