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Joke of the Day
"What's the world's scariest plant? bamBOO!"
Next Joke
"Dear time, more weekend please."
"I've stopped trying to explain twitter to my friends and now just say,""I collect tiny imaginary people in my phone using jokes as bait."""
"Giraffe walks into a bar and says... The hi-balls are on me."
"Little Susie goes to the doctor... Little Susie goes to the doctor. Doctor puts a stethoscope on her back and says, ""Ok now, big breathes."" Susie says, ""I know! And I'm only 12!"""
"Granny knot, surgeon's knot, hangman's knot, square knot. I can't do them, but my headphones sure fucking can."
"Accidental dick pics can happen I once accidentally sent a dick pic to everyone in my address book. It was embarrassing and cost a fortune in stamps."
"What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor? ""Make me one with everything."""
"When in trouble I think What Would Justin Bieber Do? scream like a little girl, grab nonexistent testicles & run away awkwardly."
"Why is school in Mexico a lot harder? Because they have a lot of ese's"