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Joke of the Day

"Granny knot, surgeon's knot, hangman's knot, square knot. I can't do them, but my headphones sure fucking can."

"What is a Mexican's favorite Olympic event? Cross country"

"Bella is the most misunderstood girl in fiction. She games Edward for immortality, starts a vampire war&secures a wolf servant for her baby."

"Not funny, people. I lost both my parents to a Hot Tub Time Machine."

"""Hey, somebody said..."" [Joke here (vine)](/https://vine.co/v/eAzYADExnIO)"

"Enough is enough It's the exact same word"

"I told her she has a nice ass. As a lady, she looked at me like my mom didn't raise me right. But we all know she'll smile about it in the ladies room."

"What's the difference between a pile of dead babies, and a Ferrari? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage."

"Consciousness: That annoying time between naps."

"Can people using windows play games online with people with using Mac? Depends on the wifi at Starbucks."