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Joke of the Day

"Giraffe walks into a bar and says... The hi-balls are on me."

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"I'm starting a new charity where homosexuals help the extreme handicapped. I'm calling it ""Fruits and Vegetables"""
"Why does a mother carry her baby? The baby can't carry the mother."
"My friend told me I was smart enough to be the next Isaac Newton... Well Newton died a lonely virgin so clearly I'm doing something right"
"My sausage-addicted friend died in a car crash. Apparently, he took a turn for the wurst."
"cows are pretty nice to us considering that we eat them"
"Where is the best place to hide something? The second page of search results of Google"
"What is it called when you butt dial from your front pocket? A cockadial"
"i couldn't tell you, officer, they were wearing masks, they could have been any group of armed anthropomorphic turtles"
"What did the man in the wheelchair say when he returned the hat he borrowed? Thanks for the handy cap."