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Joke of the Day

"ME: Haha you can tell them any name and they have to say it BARISTA: I have a latte for ""A Person Who Deserves Love""? ME [crying]: Hahaha"

"Doctor: How long have you been in pain? Women: It started at 7:45am on Monday while I was at work Men: Sometime between yesterday and 1997"

"Q: How do you tell when a blonde reaches orgasm? A1: She drops her nail-file!"

"How do you keep a turkey in suspense? ...... ...... ...... I'll get back to you in a few weeks"

"""911 whats your emerge-"" I THOUGHT I COULD TAKE THESE PANTS OFF WITHOUT TAKING OFF MY SHOES"

"When my mother was 53 she started running 5 kilometers every day. Now she's 68 and we don't know where the hell she is..."

"I'm so sick of gravity! It's really brining me down."

"So I was talking to my Australian friend when I asked him what country his Mother was from ""Alaska"" ""Okay well tell me what she says"""

"Wanted to buy a 17th century European castle but I'm baroque."

"What do the weather in England and a Muslim have in common? It's either Sunni or Shiite."