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Joke of the Day

"A penguin walks into a bar and asks ""Has my brother been in here?"" And the bartender says ""I don't know. What does he look like?"""

"I locked my keys in my car outside of an abortion clinic the other night. It turns out they get really pissed when you go in and ask them for a coat hanger."

"What did the first ape that could walk say to all the other apes? I'm walkin' here!"

"The first rule of Illiteracy Club is no reading. That was a test, and you failed. You're failing now. You're not welcome in Illiteracy Club."

"This restaurant is so fancy they made my husband wear a jacket over his mesh half-shirt."

"What is the last thing to go through a sea gull's mind when it gets hit by a jumbo jet? It's ass."

"Marriage. When dating goes too far."

"""You have a BA? Ooooh! Look at you! Well, I have a BA, an MA, & a PhD."" - 3rd degree burn"

"What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed? Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!"

"One big plot hole in X-Men is that Wolverine is over 100 yrs old but there's never been a point in history when that was a hairstyle."