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Joke of the Day
"What is the last thing to go through a sea gull's mind when it gets hit by a jumbo jet? It's ass."
Next Joke
"You know why it's called PMS? ...there's already something called Mad Cow Disease."
"Q: What is a volcano? A: A mountain with the hiccups."
"My wife said I was bad in bed so I banged her on the coffee table. Location. Location. Location."
"If apples come from apple seeds and tomatoes come from tomato seeds, how come nothing is sprouting from the bird seeds I planted?"
"Who is the coolest guy in the Hospital? A. The Ultra Sound guy. Q. Who is the second coolest? A. The Hip replacement dude."
"The thing that frightens me the most about being brutally murdered is having Nancy Grace screeching about the details of it on primetime tv."
"When someone yells ""Fire!"" at my house, I'll be the first to leap from the toilet and fall flat on my face because my legs fell asleep"
"I think my professor might not know my name. He keeps on correcting it with the word ""Late"" on all my papers."
"Haven't been sleeping well, which is ridiculous cuz I have decades of experience"