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Joke of the Day

"""I'll see you in hell"" should be followed with ""and I won't even stop to say hi"". Otherwise you're just making plans with someone you hate"

"Ebay is challenging to use . . . (x-post from F7U14) I searched for lighters, and I got 72,816 matches!"

"How does a water bear sleep? It Hydronates"

"I'm so proud of my son I asked him what the sound of one hand clapping is. He said ""dunno"" and walked off to his room, but I can hear him trying to figure it out."

"I am really feeling like a bicycle today. Too tired!"

"Husband asked his wife ""why don't you tell me when you orgasm?"" She replied ""because I don't like calling you at work."""

"Why is the Mississippi so wide? Because Mr. Sippi is hung like a horse."

"How do you kill Donald Trump? You dont, that would be a poor life decision you would most likely be imprisoned. But you get to practice your TRUMPet."

"You hear about the new radio talk/comedy show in the Middle East ... ? Isis in the Morning ? You should catch it sometime - it's a real blast !"

"I have sex daily. I mean dyslexia."