127645

Joke of the Day

"I'm thinking of becoming Hispanic just for the upside-down exclamation point. I like what you guys did there. I'm jealous."

"BARBER: what'll it be ME: can u make me feel extremeley self-conscious for 45 minutes BARBER: u got it"

"Me: ""I'm looking for a psychic who rates themselves highly."" Ian: ""I'm a medium."" Me: ""I need someone better than that."""

"What is a traitor? A tray shaped dinosaur. Credits go to the wife for that one! She still giggles when she tells it."

"told my Subway sandwich artist the toppings I wanted but then I whispered ""love"" so now I can't go to that Subway anymore"

"What's on the inside of a clean nose? Fingerprints."

"What salad dressing does Macaulay Culkin prefer? Neverland Ranch."

"I met a Japanese mathematician yesterday Japanese Mathematician: ""Acknowledge my presence, zero"" Me: ""Can you elaborate in mathematical terms?"" Japanese Mathematician: ""Notice me sin(pi)"""

"Who teaches you how to fart? A tutor :)"

"I play the triangle in my local reggae band I just stand at the back and ting."