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Joke of the Day

"#HowToGetABlackGirl Tell her she look like Rihanna even tho she look like whoopi goldberg in the color purple"

"Can everyone start saying salad is really bad for me so I can start craving it?"

"My best friend has been diagnosed with HIV ""Everything will be ok"", I said, ""just stay positive."""

"What's the first part of a stripper to blow? The knee. It's a load-bearing joint."

"Why did the woman cross the road? Good fucking question, I need to get stronger locks for the home dungeon."

"So I looked this up on Yahoo... Just kidding, I used Google."

"I don't answer unexpected knocks on the door in case it's the beginning of a very polite Zombie Apocalypse."

"Sometimes when I say ""I'm ok"", I just want someone to tell me: ""I know you're not, here, have a million dollars."""

"MAYOR'S TIP: before you spend 20 minutes blowing an air mattress, make sure it's really an air mattress, and not Gary hiding under a blanket"

"Have you ever been so high you had to pull over and ask someone for directions, and when you do it's your fridge and you're not driving?"