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Joke of the Day

"If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, odds are it's a vegan, black bean, veggie burger and my wife is cooking."

"""Ride or die"" seems a bit dramatic. I'm looking for a ""ride or maybe go our separate ways if things aren't working out."""

"Why do Mexicans keep naming their child Jesus? Jesus wasn't Mexican. He was human."

"Knock knock. Who's there? The Jews. The Jews who? Don't question us, that's anti semitic."

"What kind of shoe does Mr. T wear? T-shoes!"

"What do you call a dog in jeans and a sweater ? A plain clothes police dog !"

"What did The Zodiac Killer say before killing his victims? ""You're Cruz'n for a bruising""."

"When a guy pulls his penis out, he can tell what his partner thinks about his size... ...based on their sighs."

"Coworker: people around the office think you're too controlling Me: what's that? Coworker: oh, sorry *raises hand*"

"Girls call me ugly until they find out how much money I have Then they call me ugly and poor"