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Joke of the Day

"Is there an apology card for: Sorry I kidnapped your dog and made him run on a treadmill to power my toaster last week, or no?"

"Did you know Hitler didn't like to eat meat? He was a vegetaryan."

"The longest relationship I had was 10 days. Then she deflated."

"Cop: Know why I pulled u over? Me: Know why I pulled u over C: Stop that M: Stop that C: Wanna go to jail? M: Wanna go to jail? C: No.. errr"

"I like my girls like Shrek... Big boned and with an ass that talks back"

"Hey! Welcome to Urban Outfitters. Are you a baby-sized woman or a woman-sized man?"

"5 jokes at once. Q: how to tell 5 jokes at once? A: One direction"

"I am a Amish man with no access to the internet, AMA Did you even read the title?"

"Today at work a patient told me he had pyramid shaped cataracts in his eyes He was an old Giza"

"We just got a donkey He's a real Jackass"