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Joke of the Day
"How do you get a baby to stop choking? Take your dick out of its mouth."
Next Joke
"[high] ME: dude, NASA faked the moon landing FRIEND: wait, u mean- ME: yep, the moon never landed at all, it's still out there somewhere"
"I only date black girls... because I hate meeting fathers."
"Yo mama's so fat When she backed up her pictures to iCloud, the entire sky fell."
"So George Harrison's song, ""Isn't It A Pity?"" came on the radio... ...and I said, with all sincerity, ""Awesome! Isn't it a pity?!"""
"Suitable for British consumption I just heard the UK strawberry picking championships has been won by a woman with no legs. Jammy cunt"
"I got attacked by a yob with bat down the local park yesterday.. I was really impressed with how well he had it trained"
"I'm on the toilet, and I'm pretty sure I just reached enlightenment. Holy shit."
"Muslims don't blow themselves up for virgins They're going to hell, where the women know what they're doing"
"JESUS: today im going to walk on water JUDAS: NO DONT-- [jesus walks onto ocean. entire ocean turns to wine. all ocean life dies instamtly]"