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Joke of the Day

"White people are only thinking about one of 5 things at any given moment: 1. skiing 2. sadness 3. edamame 4. revenge 5. Greek yogurt."

"We're all born with scars. from the moment we open our eyes and look at the world we are wounded, we all share that same mark... Bellybuttons."

"RT This if wish you had an Fairly OddParent."

"So I'm ordering a coffee... I tell the barista, ""French Roast, two sugars, no cream."" The barista responds, ""I'm sorry sir we're all out of cream, would you like your coffee without any milk instead?"""

"Pavlov That name rings a bell."

"What happened when the joker dropped an elephant carrying a ten ton weight on Batman and Robin? They became flatman and ribbon. /u/realhermit has left the building."

"skippin the intro of a game and then realizin you have no idea what the objectives are just walking round aimlessly hoping something pops up"

"/r/jokes also went private, but not the whole thing Just jokes!"

"Did you hear about Mr. Pizza's divorce? His wife got full crustody and half his dough."

"Mariah Carey sounded horrible the other day. It was like a cannon went off in her throat."