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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the one-handed man cross the road? A: To get to the second hand shop."

"Q: What do you call a drunken Muslim? A: Mohammered."

"*at the confessional Priest: .'..and do you repent? Do you plan to repeat these sins?' Me: 'You mean, like, ever?'"

"All these people getting emails from the Prince of Nigeria, I got one from an Egyptian Pharaoh... But it turned out to just be a pyramid scheme."

"If Alcoholics Had Written The Declaration Of Independence would we have government of the pickled, by the pickled, and for the pickled?"

"*Sees thing on floor *Vacuums over said thing *Vacuum cant pick it up *Picks up thing *Looks at it *Puts it back on the floor to vacuum"

"Two Gay Men Walk Into A Bar One sits down, the other says ""Can I push your stool in?"""

"Once you go black, you can always go back to having coffee with milk, there's really no set in stone rules here."

"You kids have no idea how lucky you are. Back in my day we had to shave our jokes into the sides of cats and throw those cats at passers by."

"How can you tell which Burger Land baseball pitchers are left-handed? They're the one's wearing the left-handed 'meats'!"