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Joke of the Day

"Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret."

"He died doing what he loved Making toast in the shower"

"Why is Victoria Beckham not in a commercial for 'Old Spice'?"

"I like my women like I like my whiskey... Light brown, from the south, and kept in a lightless cabinet only to be taken out on special occasions."

"Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!"

"I walked in to the library today... and asked if they had the new book on tiny penises. The librarian responded ""I don't think it is in yet."" I said, ""That's the one."""

"Police: ""How high are you?"" Me: ""No officer. It's Hi, how are you?"""

"If I had a dollar for every girl that told me I was unnatractive They'd eventually find me attractive"

"An electrician walks into intensive care and yells: Hold your breaths, I am about to start replacing circuit breakers'"

"eer booze and fun!' 'WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of pregnancy in the world. Proceed with caution."