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Joke of the Day

"Why is Victoria Beckham not in a commercial for 'Old Spice'?"

"If my kid vanished on a plane like in that Jodie Foster movie I'd spend maybe 2-3 hrs enjoying the legroom & quiet before I started looking."

"Text Flirting Tip: Don't reply immediately. Play it cool, wait for a minute, then eventually forget to reply and ruin everything."

"Roommate and I got our first electric bill and long story short we're now Amish"

"Just because I reported several women to HR for not washing their hands after using the rest room doesn't mean the camera they found is mine"

"Q: What do you call Santa's helpers? A: Subordinate Clauses."

"Did you hear about the triple-amputee who pitched in the majors? He was slow around the bases, but that boy had an arm on him!"

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A ripoff."

"The main reason I got married is that I really hate driving.."

"Did you hear about the ointment... Did you hear about the ointment that couldn't stop talking about politics? When confronted, he said he was just trying to be topical."