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Joke of the Day

"Yelp Review: Babies Cute at first, but then screamy like angry pterodactyls. There is literally poop everywhere. Would not recommend."

"Him: You're married? Me: Well, it's Thursday. So, yeah. Him: What about on Friday? Me: Depends how Thursday goes."

"Why do you get when you cross a Rhino with a Panzer tank? A bloody mess"

"Why could the drunk man only move left? The officer hadn't read him his rights."

"When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and place a cherry on top of my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau..."

"I'm so sick of employers asking me what I'm doing in the next four years It's not like I have 2020 vision"

"""You are what you eat"" I chant furiously, shoving another roach in my mouth. Mushroom clouds keep growing in the distance"

"I killed my twin because she wouldn't admit that she was the evil one."

"What type of wind is named after Santa Claus's warm climate cousin? Santa Ana"

"What's the difference between shame and pride? It depends on where I draw the line."