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Joke of the Day

"When I was a kid people used to cover me in chocolate and cream and place a cherry on top of my head. Yeah, life was tough in the gateau..."

"My wife is like a treasure You'll need an accurate map and a fucking shovel to find her."

"What do you get when you cross an octopus and a cow? A stern letter from the ethics committee and an immediate cessation of funding. *stolen from I Fucking Love Science"

"What did JFK say about his multiple affairs? ""I did them not because they were easy, but because I was hard."""

"There are two types of people in this world. Those that need closure..."

"What do you do if attacked by a clan of clowns? Go for the juggler"

"I could never become a vetanarian. That job takes balls!"

"Why is it best to ship boxes using a UPS truck? The DOWNS truck is a little slow."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a race with the egg, but I'm not sure who came first."

"Ever need to go to the bathroom but can't find your iPhone so you just shit your pants? I know, right?"