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Joke of the Day
"Apocalypse cheese I bought some apocalypse cheese. It said best before the end."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between Isis hostages and Isis terrorists? Don't ask me, I just fly the drones..."
"Void? Y E S F R I E N D Why are you laughing? A J O K E Tell me? W H Y D I D T H E M A N D I E A L O N E I don't get it Y O U W I L L"
"My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned because I couldn't concentrate."
"My ex-wife is like Barbie... The bitch has everything."
"Remember, if you get dumped, it's only because they're looking for someone sexier and more attractive. It has NOTHING to do with you."
"I just bought some presents for my epileptic girlfriend's birthday Just a few small gifts, nothing too flashy."
"I peed on the elevator. That's wrong on SO many levels."
"""So you met the victim on tinder"" Yes ""Do you often meet women on tinder""? Yeah I've been murdering it on there *lawyer puts head in hands*"
"Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? . Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat"