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Joke of the Day

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards into the water? . Because if they fell forwards they'd still be in the boat"

"I'd like to learn one of those clicking languages from Africa because I get the feeling my knees are trying to tell me something."

"There is absolutely nothing funnier than yelling ""HE'S STEALING MY BABY!"" at a dad having a hard time with his kid in public."

"Me: time for bed Brain: yeah I'm tired too M: really? wow we may actually get some slee- B: hey do you think anyone's died in this house?"

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Safari Barbie ...with rifle pith helmet and pygmy guide"

"[at funeral parlor with bereaved girlfriend] HER: You think these glass urns are a good idea? ME: Remains to be seen."

"What is the best url for a bukkake website? www.facefullof.com edit: wow i did not know this lead to an actual site???!!!!"

"Now that I'm almost 30, there is nothing more sexy to me, than a girl who is fully covered... ...By her health insurance provider."

"Definition: Coffin What they carry you offin."

"Obama bans hiring bias against ex-cons seeking federal jobs He was quoted as says, ""well, we politicians need somewhere to work after leaving office""."