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Joke of the Day

"bicycle cop: im taking you to jail me [sarcastic voice]: should i ride on your pegs or walk next to you [segway cop just dying laughing]"

"Why are C programmers just the worst? They're classless."

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd? Mick Jagger yells ""Hey! You! Get off my cloud!"" The shepherd yells ""Hey! McLeod! Get off my ewe!"""

"What do you get when you cross a penis and a potato? A dictator. EDIT: In regards to BattletardBlacknigga, I also heard this joke from my dad. Which was awkward but made it funnier in a weird way....."

"Knock-knock. Who's there? No, he's on first."

"My doctor told me to get a lot of rest and fluids so I've been on a drunk rage in my bedroom since 1988."

"Sweet chan joke why was 6chan afraid of 7chan, because 7 8 9gag"

"Are you a general? Because you make my privates stand at attention."

"What's the only way a Trumpie can get hard? Freezing to death."

"What's the difference between life and a prostitute? You have to pay a prostitute to fuck you"