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Joke of the Day
"Knock-knock. Who's there? No, he's on first."
Next Joke
"You name your cat Bowl. What would the name on the cat's bowl be? It would be 'Bowl' and all of your friends would leave you because you are an idiot and named your cat Bowl."
"What's the worst thing you could possibly hear after giving Willie Nelson a blow job? I'm not Willie Nelson."
"NOTHING says ""I am batshit, incapable of relationships, bad with money & cannot be trusted"" like colored contact lenses."
"What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? ...a pizza doesn't scream in the oven. Note: (freedom of expression)"
"Yo momma so smart, that she left you under the bridge long time ago. (Yeap its 51% original joke)"
"Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
"[shopping] May I help you find something? ""Where are the giants?"" What? ""Your sign outside says there's a giant sale."""
"Hi folks, this is your captain speaking. How crazy is it that we're about to FLY. I still can't get over it. Wow. How does that even work."
"Don't you hate it when you put a freshly baked pie on the windowsill to cool and a cartoon character steals it?"