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Joke of the Day

"SpongeBob Wait, I just realised something. SpongeBob lives in bikini bottom, and he's absorbent: oh no..."

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"What did Dave Grohl say when he accidentally dropped his sandwich? ""There goes my hero"""
"How do you tell a chemist from a non-chemist? Ask them to pronounce 'unionized.'"
"What do you call a scruffy lazy ant? Decadant."
"Just built a kite that'll hold my cat. Figured if a mouse helped discover electricity then my cat & I should be able to unlock time travel."
"A lion, a witch, and a wardrobe walk into a bar. The bartender yells, ""Get out! I'm not serving Narnia!""."
"The lights at this chinese dumpling place were too bright I had to ask them to Dim Sum"
"What's the difference between a drug dealer and a prostitute? The prostitute can wash their crack and sell it again."
"7: what do you want for your birthday? Me: idk a new car 7: ok *walks away* [ 2 min later ] 7: what do you want that's under $6.42?"
"[on death row] ""what would you like for your last meal?"" ""A McRib"" ""McRib doesnt come back for 6 more mont...oooh well played!"""