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Joke of the Day

"I am voting for Donald Trump because he will personally end racism in America... Racism can't exist if everybody's white."

"Coughing problems -My wife is constantly coughing. We have tried everything and nothing helps. -Have you tried weed? -Yes, she is coughing and laughing."

"Donald Trump is starting a petition to stop the sale of pre-shredded cheese. He's very serious about trying to make the USA grate again."

"Trump getting elected after Obama was not what they meant by Orange is the New Black"

"Speed dating (Don't say anything embarrassing) ""So do you ever eat raisins and then later poop rehydrated grapes?"" (DAMMIT!)"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or they're going to think we're nuts!"

"I dont mean to sound racist, but why is my baby black? *doctor sighs for like 3 mins* ""Sir, its an ultrasound"" *Seinfeld bass riff for days*"

"Why did God invent shopping carts? To teach women how to walk on their hind legs."

"Someone stole my mood ring.. And I don't know how I feel about that Credits to 30 Rock"

"The Device Too Big To Fail I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, ""The Titanic is syncing."""