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Joke of the Day

"Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games? Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out."

"My favorite pirate joke (no arrr) Say it out loud. What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? I'm 80!"

"Donald Trump just kicked a Mexican out of his press conference for not waiting their turn like everyone else."

"I'm trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie but there are just too many holes in the plot."

"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur with vertigo? Falloffalottapuss"

"Yo mama's so fat when she turns around they throw her a welcome back party."

"I don't really care who came first, the chicken or the egg. I'm just glad somebody decided both could be broken and fried."

"What do you call a cow...? What do you call a cow that's missing a leg? Lean Beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef. What do you call a cow that's masturbating? Beef Strokin-Off"

"You can't fix stupid, but you can buy it a drink and tell it you're in Maroon 5"

"Most women turn into good drivers So if you're a good driver watch out for women turning"