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Joke of the Day

"I don't really care who came first, the chicken or the egg. I'm just glad somebody decided both could be broken and fried."

"How do you know when your girlfriend is putting on too much weight? She starts fitting into your wife's clothes"

"Where do the most murders occurr in a super market? The cereal aisle"

"Hollywood led me to believe I would have to do way more heat/AC duct crawling than I've had to do."

"what vegetable really likes to party? turn-up"

"Why'd the scarecrow get promoted? He was outstanding in his field."

"Why does corn in Illinois lean east? Because Indiana sucks and Iowa blows."

"Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? ...neither has he!"

"I call my Missus's mimsy 'The Tardis' Not because it's bigger inside than I expected. It's just that she's had several dozen companions and at least one dog in there."

"If Hillary and Trump were on a boat and it sank, who would survive? America"