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Joke of the Day

"Studies show that men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. Unless your wife finds out."

"Why can't the sun talk? (First post) It doesn't have an ellipse."

"What is the difference between snowmen and snowwomen? A: Snowballs."

"Dear Cereal Makers, Exactly how tall do you think kitchen cabinets shelves are?"

"Why did the personal trainer break up with his girlfriend? She just wasn't working out."

"My friend and I opened a shared bank account for buying weed. It'll be our joint account."

"The only thing that would make my morning more productive is actually doing something."

"Turtles think tortoises are pretentious as hell."

"Responding as if you've just been wrongfully accused of murder when someone on the phone asks if you're still in bed"

"Ocean's 45: The group gets bigger each heist It's too hard to keep secrets Someone posts the next plan on Facebook Everyone goes to jail"