23559

Joke of the Day

"At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode... I asked, ""Are you two an item?"""

"Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! The police are trying to catch him, but he's always got a few Twix up his sleeve!"

"""How's Mason doing?"" Ugh, he's going through this emu kid phase. ""Don't you mean emo kid?"" *boy covered in feathers runs past* I wish."

"I love Kit Kats the most whenever there aren't three other people around."

"Pun contest One day a man saw that there was a local paper puns contest. So he decided to write his 10 best puns and enter them into the contest in hope of winning. Unfortunately no pun in 10 did."

"Which Vice President was the best at making beats? Algorithm"

"I tried explaining sarcasm to some kleptomaniacs but they always take things literally."

"Money's short"

"*pets a duck* helo litle friemd u used to b a dinosuar"

"Three things that are certain in life~ 1) Death 2) Paying taxes 3) Somewhere a woman is pissed at a man ...."