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Joke of the Day
"Money's short"
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"Avril Lavigne: He was a boy. She was a girl. Can I make it any more obvious? Me: Yes you could. That is incredibly vague."
"When a porn actress is rude at a restaurant, there's really nothing the staff can put in her food for revenge."
"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up as an altar boy"
"I had a racing snail, I thought it would be faster if I removed it's shell... It only made it more sluggish."
"How do you circumcise a redneck? You kick his sister in the back of the head."
"What do you do when attacked by a group if clowns? Go for the juggler."
"""There's a sleeping person. Let's go ask it questions."" Children"
"Barry? Yes Joe Can I borrow Air Force 1? I promised this girl we'd eat at the Pizza Hut in France No Joe *Biden slams fist* THIS IS BULLSHIT"
"Me: Here you go. Her: WTF? Me: It's the genital mold you wanted. Her: I said gelatin mold! Me: *waddles away with pants around ankles*"