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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the chocolate bar burglar?! The police are trying to catch him, but he's always got a few Twix up his sleeve!"

"A few years back I used to write jokes. I spent ages trying to make a boxing joke. I just couldn't come up with a punch line"

"A boy asks his Jewish father for 50 dollars... The father looked at his son and asked, ""40 dollars? What do you need 30 dollars for?"""

"Who loses in a basketball game between two Vietnamese guys? No one... its Nguyen Nguyen!"

"Nephew just whispered something into a Cadbury Easter Bunny's ears then broke off its head. I'm sleeping with the lights on."

"If you can say ""I made six figures last year,"" you either have a well paying job or you're the worst employee at a toy factory."

"Nicholson: You want answers?! Cruise: I want the truth!! Nicholson: YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH! Cruise: mmk... how bout a little hint?"

"I once bought a llama to surprise my girlfriend... ""A llama?"" ""No, surprise her."""

"What do people with huge penises eat for breakfast? Well, I had toast. EDIT: me and /u/Nekovivie weren't expecting you to know. cuz^you^have^a^small^dick"

"[rubs magic lamp] GENIE: You get 3 wishes ""Anything?"" GENIE: No wishin for more wishes ""I wish for more genies"" GENIE: I don't like you"