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Joke of the Day

"Three things that are certain in life~ 1) Death 2) Paying taxes 3) Somewhere a woman is pissed at a man ...."

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"How does a crazy person walk through the forest? He takes the psychopath."
"I like my women how I like my buscuits Covered in semen."
"Yo mama so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone."
"Some cool ways to trick a woman into bed include ""being kind,"" ""making her feel special"" & ""showing her respect."" They love that shit!"
"A pirate walks into a bar The bar tender notices that he has a ships wheel sticking out of the front of his pants, he asks ""doesn't that bother you"". And the pirate says ""arrrr it's drivin me nuts"""
"My wife tried to buy something online yesterday.... Anyone know how to get a credit card out of a floppy drive?"
"ATTENTION TARGET SHOPPERS THERE IS A VAN PARKED OUTSIDE WITH A FLAMING UNICORN PAINTED ON IT WOULD THE OWNER PLEASE COME UP FRONT FOR A HI 5"
"What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen"
"In tonight's debate Trump said we can't trust the rebels I'm not surprised; he has always reminded me of Emperor Palpatine."
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