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Joke of the Day
"I was blind for a while after eye surgery. Those were dark times."
Next Joke
"Every morning when the alarm goes off, I wake up & say ""it's time to chase my dreams!"" & then I press the snooze button & go back to sleep."
"What do you call a Dothraki mathematician Khal culator"
"How do you know when your sister's on her period? NSFW When your dad's dick tastes like blood."
"[approaches parent with child on a leash] ""Mind if I pet your dog?"" Hey that's my son! ""Oh my bad. Mind if I pet your son?"""
"What's the problem with a Jewish football team? you're gonna need a new squad as soon as soon as they hit the showers"
"After this winter I'm so excited for spring... I wet my plants"
"Why do elephants where pink shoes? To hide in the grass. Have you ever seen an elephant with pink shoes? No? Good hiders, aren't they?"
"Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that."
"How do you get a fat girl into bed? Piece of cake."