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Joke of the Day

"Christian Bale won Best Supporting Actor for playing a mentally unstable drug addict.And then Charlie Sheen was like, ""You can get an award for that?"

"Considering our obsessions with cats and emojis, the internet really is the new ancient Egypt."

"Why is Peter Pan always flying? Because he Neverlands!"

"The look on my husbands face while watching a Victoria's Secret commercial tells me exactly where all my catalogs went."

"gardening i spent alot of my days trying to grow a specific seasoning in my garden. it took forever, but once it finally produced, i had the thyme of my life."

"Do you want to hear a joke about sports cars? Are you sure? It contains spoilers!"

"Canada got rid of the penny. It makes no cents."

"What do whiteblood cells and Trump have in common? They hate foreigners."

"Go suck an egg. Lick a mango. Breathe on an avocado. Make everyone at the grocery store uncomfortable."

"I never buy a new couch without first seeing what it looks like with five loads of laundry piled on top of it."