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Joke of the Day

"The look on my husbands face while watching a Victoria's Secret commercial tells me exactly where all my catalogs went."

"Just went to the bookies to put a bet on a horse called ""Dirty Carpet"" it's never been beaten"

"When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking. And then I saw her face."

"A lot of people are only alive because I shed too much hair to ever get away with murder."

"Dont do phone sex Or you'll get hearing aids"

"Fresno. I want to live in Fresno, because it rhymes. Rhymes with what? Because I said so."

"Why do skateboarders make lousy plumbers? Because they only use half pipes."

"What do 2 Chinese people call their black child Sum ting wong"

"Cyclists who don't obey the rules of the road should have to wear their google search history on a t-shirt."

"Horrible news. My nephew was on a bus traveling on a foggy mountain road in Chile. Then he got those big stupid disks put in his earlobes."