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Joke of the Day

"gardening i spent alot of my days trying to grow a specific seasoning in my garden. it took forever, but once it finally produced, i had the thyme of my life."

"""Dad do you believe in Buddha?"" ""Why of course but I think margarine is just as good."""

"Why couldn't Germany win a world war? Because they'd Russia lot"

"Wife called up her mom and said, ""He fought with me again,I'm coming to live with you."" Mom replied, no no my daughter, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to stay with you."

"If you stare in a mirror long enough and start screaming, you'll see angry faces of figures dressed in orange. *only works at Home Depot"

"I lost my virginity last week But it's fine. Turns out it was just between the couch cushions."

"When did you find out Santa wasn't real? For me it was when I noticed he had the same birthmark on his cock as my uncle."

"Best Place to hide.. Where's the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google."

"You know why Santa Claus doesn't have any children? Because he only comes once a year and that's down a chimney."

"I just Googled 'Nicolas Cage jokes' and it showed me a list of every film he's been in. Well played, Google."