177839

Joke of the Day

"I never buy a new couch without first seeing what it looks like with five loads of laundry piled on top of it."

"Why did the vampire feel tired after dinner? All the blood had rushed to his stomach."

"A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth The result was soup rising"

"I met a guy who said he could get a great deal on a pillowcase... turns out, it was a sham."

"There's 2 cows in a paddock One says ""moo"" the other says ""damn, I was just about to say that."""

"i just found the HOTTEST porn video: ""girl uses logic during argument"". oh god, i'm gonna nut just typing thissssssfjdksfjsjfa.........."

"With me, it's not PRIDE that comes before a fall. It's half a bottle of vodka and a coffee table that I forgot existed."

"What's the definition of Embarrassing? Running into a wall with a erection and your nose touches the wall first."

"My neighbour really pissed me off last night... He kept playing the same Lionel Richie song over and over. I wouldn't mind normally but it was all night long."

"how do you get 100 babies in a trash can? blender!... how do you get them back out? ... doritos!"