23316

Joke of the Day

"Half the time, I don't know if I'm in /r/jokes or /r/shower thoughts."

"When asked why he wouldn't upgrade his operating system to Windows 8... Arnold Schwarzenegger replied: 'Windows 8, never! I still love Vista baby'..."

"I don't watch World Cup soccer. If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar."

"I used to be a senile UPS worker Shit I messed up the delivery"

"What do you say to the midget prostitute? ""Don't you think you're selling yourself short?"""

"when chuck Norris went to find Bigfoot, Bigfoot copied him self to escape from chuck"

"Me: Who will I share the sunset with now?! *sobs* Friend: Bad breakup? Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working."

"What's the hardest part to eat of a vegetable? The Wheelchair."

"Q: What did the blonde's dentist find? A: Teeth in the cavity."

"I don't support the gay lifestyle in San Francisco It's way too expensive there. They should move to somewhere a lot cheaper so they can save more money."