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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes my dog barks so loud she farts which coincidentally is also Donald Trump's foreign policy platform. (Also his domestic platform.)"

"Two Blondes Two blondes meet up for coffee and one asks the other what she has been upto; ""I had sex with two Brazilian guys last night"" ""Wow - I've never even met that many guys"" replied the other"

"""What'd you do this weekend?"" I was shooting craps. ""Oh you went to a casino?"" *flashback to blasting dog turds with shotgun* Um, yeah."

"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it It was a shitzu"

"I drank 2 energy drinks to keep me aware while I drive but the only thing I'm aware of now is how many inanimate objects have jazz hands."

"Did you hear about the Hipster that drowned in the canal? It wasn't mainstream."

"There are three types of people I hate Niggers, racists, and hypocrites"

"When your bio says ""No DMs,"" I wanna DM you SO BAD and just say: ""OK."""

"""Should I add more liquor?"" is the most ridiculous question I've ever been asked."

"What's the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same"