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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes my dog barks so loud she farts which coincidentally is also Donald Trump's foreign policy platform. (Also his domestic platform.)"

"Give a man a fire, and He'll be warm for the night. Light a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"What is a dog's favorite candy? Feces pieces"

"Did you hear about the identical twins who robbed a bank? After they were caught, they finished each other's sentences."

"In a touching tribute to Joan Rivers, Target today announced that it would print funny little anecdotes on all of their shopping bags. Just so plastic can make us laugh one more time."

"Been really trying to see things from my wife's point of view lately... Been looking out this kitchen window for hours..."

"does this typewriter come w emojis"

"This Venn guy was sure bad at drawing circles next to each other"

"Poured my cat some almond milk & now she has bangs & drives a Prius."

"[commercial] ""This commercial is so confusing. I wish they would just tell us what they're selling"" narrator: Narrators"