33940

Joke of the Day

"In a touching tribute to Joan Rivers, Target today announced that it would print funny little anecdotes on all of their shopping bags. Just so plastic can make us laugh one more time."

"What did the broke zombie amusement park say to the wealthy vampire golf course? I just need to get fundead."

"Manslaughter: I always used to read it as 'man's laughter'. Seems oddly appropriate for someone who's got away with murder..."

"Do infants have as much fun in infancy as adults do in adultery?"

"What do you call sex with a french midget? Bone a petite"

"[Last supper] Jesus: Same time next week guys? *they all nod* Judas: I'll book a table for 12 Jesus: you mean 13 Judas: yeah..13, I meant 13"

"I appreciate the lemons, but wasn't one of you supposed to teach me how to fish by now?"

"What did the Florida boy have on his feet? Crocs"

"I got fired from my job at the cemetery yesterday... I made a grave mistake."

"I went to the blacksmiths for a job interview He asked me ""have you ever shoed a horse before?"" I replied ""no, but i told a donkey to fuck off."""